Going It Alone

It's been a week since Matt took off for training. We miss him terribly and it brings tears to my eyes every time we come home from an outing and upon opening the door Avery yells, "Daddy, we're home!" I must have reminded her a hundred times already that Daddy won't be home for awhile.

We were incredibly spoiled having him around so much these last few months.

My steely, super-momma skills got soft having Matt pitch in with all the child-rearing responsibilities. Not that I'm complaining! Slowly I'm learning to manage a 2-kid family without the help of a husband. There is a very fine balance between it simply being easier to stay home all day and everyone going absolutely bonkers being stuck in the house. One major hurdle is giving myself permission to get maybe only one or two major chores accomplished every 24 hours. Trying to do more only ends with my frustration and the kids feeling bored or neglected.

As long as we've been married, Matt has spent good chunks of time away from home; deployments, extended training trips, and working overseas. Many wives/friends/family outside the military community have commented on how they couldn't imagine living life that way. While occassionally more difficult, there are also little perks to having your husband away for a time...

- No one asks what's for dinner at 4:30p.
And no one cares if you serve Cherrios. Again.
Because you just haven't made it to the store. Again.


-  If I feel inclined to wear my pajamas all day, make showering low on the priority list, not wear a lick of makeup and neglect that long list of errands - no one notices. (So long as I don't leave the house!)


- No nap guilt. When Matt's home, he never gives me a hard time about taking a mid-day snooze, but I put pressure on myself to always be doing something productive when the kids are napping. There's something about having a husband come home in the evening that makes me more accountable for my daytime checklist. When that accountability is lax, I take lots of glorious naps with my little ones.


- The TV is rarely on and, when it is, I'm in charge of the remote.


- We try to eat dinner as a family at the table. One of my stress reliefs is doing crafty projects, but they have a tendency to take over the kitchen table for days on end. The kids don't seem to mind. Avery and I just eat at the counter together instead.

- After the babes are down for the night, I have a couple hours to do as I please. When Matt is home I enjoy spending the evening with him watching an on-demand movie or talking about the day's news, but doing so leaves little to no time for those aforementioned projects (or blog posts!).


- No one eats my restaurant leftovers. You know, the ones you're really stoked to have for lunch the next day. ;)
(Haven't been out to eat yet, so I couldn't photograph any actual doggy-bag)

- By the time Matt sees my new shoes, I can honestly say, "Oh, these? I've had them awhile."


- In his absence, I've commandeered what is typically his computer nook with my sewing machine and fabrics! I love not having to dig them out of the closet, set them up on the kitchen table, and put them away when I'm done. When the sewing itch hits, I'm free to scratch.

- We love coming up with creative ways to show our affection from abroad. It's actually fun putting together care packages of things we know he loves, having Avery do drawings for him to put up in his room, and surprising him with funny photo texts of whatever we happen to be doing that day.


Of course, for every 1 "perk" of him being away, there are 100 reasons why we wish he were here.

Yes, wrangling 2 kids alone is tough and some days I feel like I'm gonna totally lose it. But, I'm glad that is the largest responsibility I face. I am so fortunate to have a husband that I'm proud of, who loves us, AND brings home the bacon. These seasons in our home/away cycle give me a wholesome appreciation for those truly single parents. Even though my partner is physically missing, I don't have to worry about paying the bills in addition to holding down a household.

Life is all about perspective and choosing your attitude in every situation. Today I'm choosing to find joy in these little things. Temporary separations make reunions all the sweeter - although I'll probably always disdain meal planning! ;)

Play Ball!

 

Last night we took Lear to his very first baseball game! Padres vs. Phillies at Petco Park downtown San Diego.

He liked it, or at least the first hour of it that he was awake...



Avery had a great time "writing down the hits," gorging on cotton candy, shakin' her booty to the music, and generally not paying much attention to the actual ball game at all. You know, typical 3-year-old stuff.



Such a lovely night for a game. (photo credit for the pic of me below goes to Avery! ha ha ha)

Nor Cal Fam Time

Last weekend we packed everyone into the car for our first road trip as a family of four. We were definitely due for some time with our Nor Cal family! Plus, many had yet to meet Lear.

Having cruised that route numerous times as a married couple sans kiddos (and not loving it then), I was so nervous about an 8 hour drive with a 3 year and 3 month old. There are so many scenarios where that goes horribly sideways. But, thankfully, we had the smoothest trip I've ever taken up the coast. No traffic to speak of (even in LA!), Lear slept like a champ, and Avery was entirely entertained by her DVDs and snacks.

Matt always drives with his hand like this... mine would totally cramp up in that position after 8 hours! So grateful I'm married to a road warrior who handled the wheel the whole trip.  :)

Daddy's seat sits pretty far back into Avery's leg space, but she improvised.

Ahh yes... the desolate stretch of mid-state I-5. At least my sparkly purple pedicure was fun to look at.

Our first stop was Foster City. Cari took the red-eye from Boston to spend the weekend with us.

And to hang with "her babies." Yes, Cari is actually starting to like kids. Miracles do happen.

Lear thought Great Uncle Tim was a hoot.


"Mom... I know I'm new and meeting family for the first time, but seriously, do I have to do a photo-op with everyone?"
Yes. You do.

Next stop was lunch with the McGahey gals. We weren't able to stay long enough to see Zack (insert sad face here), but very much enjoyed an afternoon of catching up. I am always so blessed by time spent with Rebecca. Moving every 3-5 years as a kid was great in many ways, but never afforded me long-term friendships. Being casual friends in high school and then roommates our first year in college, our active friendship of 13 years is a record! Although Facebook has reconnected me with many "friends" from my past, no one currently in my life (other than family) has known me longer. So amazing to have celebrated all our adult milestones together and that we both make the time and effort to reconnect at least once a year, regardless of distance. Others might take "old" friends for granted, but I know Rebecca is a genuine treasure.

Friday night we drove to Sacramento where Lear met his Aunt Jenn.

And his Grandma Mel and Grandpa Mark.

We spent Saturday at John's Incredible Pizza. Nothing like an all-you-can-eat pizza bar and games!
Avery and Jaylene rocked the b-ball hoop, Daddy at the whack-a-mole, and the girls on the hopper.

At this point I should mention that Kama, Keni, and their 3 boys met us at the Pizza joint, but I realized only after the fact that I neglected to get any photos with them. So now I feel like a turd, but we did enjoy seeing them if only for a short while.

The 3 Amigas (Kayla, Jaylene & Avery). These cousins had an absolute blast playing together.

Sunday we cruised over to Grandma & Grandpa Gaines' house. Laurie put on a huge feast for the whole extended family. We don't get to spend large amounts of time with each family, but we do try and make it quality time.

Grandma Laurie spoiled the kids (as usual) with HUGE Easter baskets full of goodies.

One last pit stop for lunch in Lincoln with the Streits and Aunt Lori before we headed home on Tuesday. The road trip back was a bit less smooth, but all-in-all no complaints. We are fortunate to have so much awesome family and to be able to see them all in a whirlwind weekend trip up north.

Avery's Antics 3.3

"Lear and I are best buds, aren't we Mom?"

"How long do I have to stay in my room for quiet time?"
"One Hour"
"That's too looooong!!!"
"Ok then, you only have to stay up there 60 minutes."
"Yes, that's better."

"Mommy, who's your best friend?"
"Daddy is."
**Pause while she thinks...**
"No, who's your best friend that doesn't live with us?"

Putting Avery to bed...
"Mommy, your breath smells like dead flies."

Me, to Matt, while flipping thru Netflix (very sarcastic) -
"YES! They've got Justin Bieber's documentary!"
Avery: "I don't really like jumpin' beavers."

March Madness

If you came to this post thinking it'd be about NCAA basketball, well, sorry. It's merely a smattering of things going on in the McNeil house this month. I probably could have done 5 separate blog posts about these very unrelated things, but it appears that these days I just don't have that kind of time to spare. Let's just credit my effort and call it a day, shall we?

While at my parents house we did a mini "Oma/Opa with Grandkiddos" photoshoot. With floor to ceiling windows, my folks' condo has the most ridiculously awesome photo lighting. This one is my fav...

Poor Lear had had enough... what a face!

 

Has your weather been as totally nutty as ours? We came home from Ohio to 80 degrees and sunny - warm enough for some swim time with Daddy in the community pool. (But now, 2 weeks later, we're looking at highs in the 50s for San Diego. Brrr. Crazy.) After a 3 month holiday/little-brother-being-born hiatus, Avery has returned to swim lessons and is back to being our resident mermaid.

Cousin Katie (or "katiekelly" as Avery calls her) came down from the OC for a visit. She spoiled us with her love of cuisine and played personal chef for the evening. What a treat to have someone cook us dinner in our own kitchen while I relaxed!

I've been taking photos of Lear each month in the same spot next to the same stuffed animal, so we can see how much he grows. This month that giraffe got a little feisty...

Oops from The McNeils on Vimeo.



What do you do in San Diego when it's a "record rainfall" kind of weekend? Bowling, of course! Our gang met up with our good friends, Cheyenne, Josie and Stefani (plus, Stef's mom and stepdad). The girls LOVED it. And all the adults bowled at least one strike each. Not too shabby.

When I'm the one always snapping the photos, I have to make a conscious effort to get in front of the lens sometimes. Um, hello... I am a part of this family too, thank. you. very. much.

Avery helps Lear out every day with his "tummy time." She's especially fond of holding his attention with some My Little Pony action. (If you're thinking to yourself, "Haven't I seen Avery in that dress many, many, many times before?" The answer would be "yes." She wears it every single day. Clearly not a battle I'm choosing to fight.)

He likes them too.

Lately, Avery has become a whiz at puzzles. This is a clip I shot of her doing a 24 piece puzzle that she had never seen before. We did not do it with her prior to this filming (which was at 7:30am, by the way. Excuse my bathrobe!) Elapsed time is 13 minutes and it cracks me up how she sounds like a mouse during the FF part. :)
Puzzler from The McNeils on Vimeo.


Today Gigi and Jimster stopped in on their way home from visiting Arizona to meet Lear and hang with Princess Avery for awhile (there's that dress again!). 

Despite the incredible wind, we caught a break in the storms and got outside for a stroll. Lear clearly enjoyed being strapped to Momma for a bit.

But what he really liked best was snuggling with Gigi all afternoon and giving her plenty of his signature grins and telling her all sorts of "stories." :)

2 Much Cuteness

Our little Lear is 2 months old! 

He has quickly cemented his place in our family as the easygoing, sweetly dispositioned snugglebug. A tummy time champ, lover of the swaddle, and an eager eater, Daddy has aptly nicknamed him "chunk." He's averaging a weight gain of a 1/2 lb a week - a lot when you're less than 2 feet tall!!! Those chubby cheekers are so soft and smoochable. His hair color has lightened since birth, now sporting more of a medium-brown 'do, but those deep baby blues are for keeps. Latest advancements include focused eye contact, BIG smiles in reaction to attention, better noggin control, and a few nights with a 4-5 hour sleep stretch (yay!).

Official 2 month stats:  12.5 lbs (68%), 23 in (50%), 16 in head circumference (63%).