Going It Alone

It's been a week since Matt took off for training. We miss him terribly and it brings tears to my eyes every time we come home from an outing and upon opening the door Avery yells, "Daddy, we're home!" I must have reminded her a hundred times already that Daddy won't be home for awhile.

We were incredibly spoiled having him around so much these last few months.

My steely, super-momma skills got soft having Matt pitch in with all the child-rearing responsibilities. Not that I'm complaining! Slowly I'm learning to manage a 2-kid family without the help of a husband. There is a very fine balance between it simply being easier to stay home all day and everyone going absolutely bonkers being stuck in the house. One major hurdle is giving myself permission to get maybe only one or two major chores accomplished every 24 hours. Trying to do more only ends with my frustration and the kids feeling bored or neglected.

As long as we've been married, Matt has spent good chunks of time away from home; deployments, extended training trips, and working overseas. Many wives/friends/family outside the military community have commented on how they couldn't imagine living life that way. While occassionally more difficult, there are also little perks to having your husband away for a time...

- No one asks what's for dinner at 4:30p.
And no one cares if you serve Cherrios. Again.
Because you just haven't made it to the store. Again.


-  If I feel inclined to wear my pajamas all day, make showering low on the priority list, not wear a lick of makeup and neglect that long list of errands - no one notices. (So long as I don't leave the house!)


- No nap guilt. When Matt's home, he never gives me a hard time about taking a mid-day snooze, but I put pressure on myself to always be doing something productive when the kids are napping. There's something about having a husband come home in the evening that makes me more accountable for my daytime checklist. When that accountability is lax, I take lots of glorious naps with my little ones.


- The TV is rarely on and, when it is, I'm in charge of the remote.


- We try to eat dinner as a family at the table. One of my stress reliefs is doing crafty projects, but they have a tendency to take over the kitchen table for days on end. The kids don't seem to mind. Avery and I just eat at the counter together instead.

- After the babes are down for the night, I have a couple hours to do as I please. When Matt is home I enjoy spending the evening with him watching an on-demand movie or talking about the day's news, but doing so leaves little to no time for those aforementioned projects (or blog posts!).


- No one eats my restaurant leftovers. You know, the ones you're really stoked to have for lunch the next day. ;)
(Haven't been out to eat yet, so I couldn't photograph any actual doggy-bag)

- By the time Matt sees my new shoes, I can honestly say, "Oh, these? I've had them awhile."


- In his absence, I've commandeered what is typically his computer nook with my sewing machine and fabrics! I love not having to dig them out of the closet, set them up on the kitchen table, and put them away when I'm done. When the sewing itch hits, I'm free to scratch.

- We love coming up with creative ways to show our affection from abroad. It's actually fun putting together care packages of things we know he loves, having Avery do drawings for him to put up in his room, and surprising him with funny photo texts of whatever we happen to be doing that day.


Of course, for every 1 "perk" of him being away, there are 100 reasons why we wish he were here.

Yes, wrangling 2 kids alone is tough and some days I feel like I'm gonna totally lose it. But, I'm glad that is the largest responsibility I face. I am so fortunate to have a husband that I'm proud of, who loves us, AND brings home the bacon. These seasons in our home/away cycle give me a wholesome appreciation for those truly single parents. Even though my partner is physically missing, I don't have to worry about paying the bills in addition to holding down a household.

Life is all about perspective and choosing your attitude in every situation. Today I'm choosing to find joy in these little things. Temporary separations make reunions all the sweeter - although I'll probably always disdain meal planning! ;)