For my Dad's 60th birthday last Thursday, I wanted to do something really special - a thoughtful gift different than the usual dress socks or restaurant gift card. What's left to buy for a guy who's lived 6 decades, anyways?!
After scouring the internet for ideas, I decided upon a gift of memories (if you're on Pinterest, you may recognize this!). Not to be morbid or anything, but I got to thinking about how people at a funeral always stand around telling stories about the deceased. How much better is it to share those fond memories with someone before they leave the Earth, rather than wait until it's too late? A 60th birthday is just as good an excuse as any!
My mom did the detective work and rustled up more than 100 email and snail mail addresses of people from my Dad's past. Stalking Dad's facebook friends list also provided a few additional leads. My goal was to fill 60 envelopes with stories of my Dad for him to open on his special day.
So I sent out an email:
Hello Everyone!
If you are receiving this email, you probably know that my dad, Alan Coe, is turning 60 this February (much as he would hate us to be reminding everyone, I'm sure). To celebrate his birthday, we'd like to put together a little surprise to let him know that his nearest and dearest are thinking of him. We're going to try and create "60 Years of Memories" by filling 60 envelopes each with a memory his friends and family have of him.
And this is where you come in!
If you have a spare moment in the next couple weeks, we would be so grateful if you would jot down a favorite memory you have of Alan and put it in the mail. It doesn't have to be anything fancy - you can just write it down on a piece of paper and sign your name. Mention anything you'd like - although the more nostalgic, funny, crazy the better! Please feel free to send more than one memory (we do have 60 envelopes to fill, after all...), but make sure you write them on different pieces of paper and sign each.
A heartfelt thanks in advance for taking the time to participate! We know everyone is busy with their own lives and we really appreciate you taking a few minutes to do this; it will be so special when he reads all your memories. Feel free to also forward this email to anyone you know that may want to participate. Don't forget to keep it a surprise!
Cheers,
Hayley
I included my mailing address and waited...
Over the next 2 months, letters and emails poured in from all over the country. What a delight it was to get handwritten notes in my mailbox each week! The memories came from all different decades, from before my Dad was born to now. In addition to his immediate family - wife, kids, even Avery "wrote" one - they came from my Dad's 4 siblings, his cousins, his aunts (both in their 80s), college fraternity brothers, work colleagues, sailing friends living the Virgin Islands, old church buddies, high school bandmates, longtime family friends, and even his best friend from grade school who he had entirely lost track of 30 years ago (thanks to a little creative Googling on my part).
I found these amazingly detailed and delicate airmail envelopes at this etsy shop. Including shipping from Thailand, 65 envelopes were only $9! It did take four weeks to get them, but fortunately I had planned ahead. After printing the numbers 1 - 60 on them with my computer, we stuffed each with a memory. I trimmed a regular paper grocery bag to letter size, ran it through the printer, cut out the label shape and added a hole re-enforcement sticker to create the tag. A little rustic twine and a gorgeous basket my Mom found on sale at Hobby Lobby completed the ensemble.
I found these amazingly detailed and delicate airmail envelopes at this etsy shop. Including shipping from Thailand, 65 envelopes were only $9! It did take four weeks to get them, but fortunately I had planned ahead. After printing the numbers 1 - 60 on them with my computer, we stuffed each with a memory. I trimmed a regular paper grocery bag to letter size, ran it through the printer, cut out the label shape and added a hole re-enforcement sticker to create the tag. A little rustic twine and a gorgeous basket my Mom found on sale at Hobby Lobby completed the ensemble.
During his party, we first had him open a new silver monogrammed letter opener. A little confused, we then presented him with the basket and said "You'll need that to open these..."
The next day when it was just our family he sat down on the couch and began to open them. The first letter was from my Mom, talking about the first time she laid eyes on that "exotic" young man at Purdue and how glad she was that he married her. Tears flowed and I even lost it when he said he "didn't need to open any more letters" because that note was enough.
Fortunately, he did open more. For the next 5 hours (no exaggeration) we sat and listened to him read through each memory. More tears, uncontrollable laughter, and sincere astonishment at just how many people had taken the time to contribute. Often times he would know exactly what the person was going to share before reading it. And each letter sparked a more thorough explanation or telling of the story.
In a strange way, this was not only a gift to my Dad, but unexpectedly to myself as well. Hearing him talk about all these events (many from before I was born), has given me a bigger picture of my Dad - one woven together by people from his past who, in one way or another, have contributed to my family history. My Dad has touched so many lives...
Turns out you can make a lot of memories in sixty years. And then, if you're lucky, you can relive them all over again.
